Read my thoughts!

Nakakasawa na rin yung tipong pagod ka after mong matapos ang mga maliliit na pisikal na gawain sa loob ng iilang minuto. Pinag-iisipan ko ko kung pano maging fit and strong. Minsan kasi nakakainsecure kapag pagod na pagod ka sa pagmamadali sa paglalakad sa IRRI (the only strenuous activity for the day) tapos yung katabi mo nag-jojogging at nageenjoy pa. Mai-try kaya ginagawa niya? Nakalagay rin sa Bible, honor God with your body. Having a healthy body pleases God because it shows how you appreciate and care what He has given to you.

Pwes, I have to make a decision. Plus, I have to find inspiration and drive. Making a decision is useless if you don’t have the drive to back-up what you have claimed.

Note: This is a long sentimental blog post. But I really want to shout this out because I’ve been keeping this for a long time.

BIG TIME! I don’t know why but recently I’ve been kind of sentimental with what’s happening around me. Dealing with pressures, talks, social norms, and even faith. It’s like every aspect of my life suddenly got tangled despite of my efforts to separate each one from another. I don’t know. Reflecting on my recent predicament makes it worse. It makes me more sentimental and boys don’t cry. Even up to this point, as I type this blog post, my heart is already contorting, twisting, and even gurgling as I contemplate on every event that has happened in the past.

I guess I’ve been feeling this way since the end of my Fourth year, 1st Semester. I was just too afraid to admit that the impending events, the unknown, are already freaking me out. The thought of joining a new world (the industry, the outside world as they say) is giving me goosebumps, stress, and worries. I guess what really broke me was yesterday. I’m currently an intern here at IRRI (which enforced the fact that I will be joining the workforce a few months from now) and my co-intern left because he was able to finish the required internship hours yesterday. He was the only one here in the office that shares my status as a college student thus the only one who I cling to, for me to be reminded that I’m still a student, still the happy-go-lucky guy my high school friends knew of, still the responsible student my college friends have met, still the old Neil I once knew about.

Also, I’ve been getting advice left and right on what to do when job-hunting, being a professional, ethics, and etc. I do appreciate the advice, I’ve learned a lot, but please give me time to feel being a kid and be a kid. I have a few months left before everything will change (let’s face it, no matter how much we deny that nothing will change, everything will) let me feel this point of life a while longer. Don’t push me to another point in this walk where I feel like I’m still not ready for it yet as of the moment. Let me deal with it when I’m already there. It may seem as if I’m not prepared but I am faithful that I can and I will get through with it, I just don’t feel that this is the right time.

I’ll continue this post later. I have to reorganize my thoughts. As you can see from this post, it’s quite clutter. Please do forgive.

Just drop dead for a while. I promise you, it will help. :)

That’s my philosophy nowadays. Stress-free and carefree days ahead. Although, I don’t know how long I can keep it up. But I’m enjoying it.

Anyways, hating the journal assignment we were given for Internship II. I like writing, but come on. Please give our journals back so we can write on it as soon as we can. We’re like left with a stack of journal entries we need to write because they kept our journals for “checking” way too long. To top it all off, it’s handwritten! As an IT student and a budding IT professional, I’m about to come through college way too reliant on computers so handwriting for me is a big pain in the a**.

Random.

(via padabataka)

I can never overemphasize the fact that I hate you. I’ve tried everything. You’re the one making it worst. Don’t you ever tell me you’ve tried to fix this because clearly you’re wrecking things on your own.